Last night I let D stay up late and we watched "The Wizard of Oz" for the first time (well, his first time, my millionth). I had been holding off showing him this movie, because I remember being scared of the flying monkeys and the Wizard as a child, but I figured if Star Wars doesn't scare him, this won't.
I'm glad I showed it to him...he loved it and wasn't scared at all! It was fun to watch him watching it, especially during my favorite scenes: when Dorothy opens the door to Oz and it changes from black-and-white to color; when the trees throw apples at Dorothy and Scarecrow; when the Wicked Witch melts. His eyes would widen during these, and other scenes, and it was obvious how much he was enjoying it.
I couldn't help but relate the movie to my journey with A. I often feel like I am fighting the powers-that-be (the Wizard, the Wicked Witch,) to stand up and advocate for my daughter. Insurance issues, Medi-Cal, IEPs, hounding doctors to refill her meds on time (lions and tigers and bears, oh my!) Most of all, though, what I related to in the movie was the Cowardly Lion. He sought courage, which he really had all along. He was terrified to go talk to the Wizard of Oz, was petrified to go to the Wicked Witch's castle to kill her to get the broomstick...but he did it. I love the quote:
All right, I'll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I'll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I'm going in there.
Substitute my daughter's name for Dorothy, and that's the story of my life. I get nervous being an advocate...I don't like confronting people, and dealing with bureaucracy drives me nuts. But when the well-being of my children is threatened, my Mama Bear claws come out, and I will tear them apart. I have spent hours upon hours on the phone, talked to supervisors, researched with peers and online, everything I could to arm myself to fight those powers.
As the Cowardly Lion says, I hope my strength holds out. I know it will....I have become very strong since becoming a mother, and that strength increased tenfold after the birth of A. And A is the strongest person I know. Together we are invincible.
I can't wait until SHE is old enough to watch "The Wizard of Oz" too!
Postpartum Depression Update
3 hours ago