Bike the Bay Recap 2015

This was done in August----and here it is January.  Wow!  I'm not usually this bad at recapping events!  Just a quick recap here for posterity.

Bike the Bay is an annual event benefiting the San Diego County Bicycle Coalition. Although it's been going on for years. I heard it about it for the first time in 2012 when I literally ran into the bikers.  I was training for my first half-Ironman, Superfrog, and since it was in Coronado/Imperial Beach, I was doing a lot of training rides there.  One Sunday, as I drove over the Coronado Bridge on my way over to Coronado, I saw tons of cyclists on the bridge.  I was confused, as there are no bikes or runners allowed on the bridge, except for races.  I came to find out, as I later started biking and talking with people around me, that this was the annual Bike the Bay, a ride that started downtown, went over the bridge, through Coronado, over the Silver Strand into Imperial Beach. and back through Chula Vista and National City. It's a 25 mile ride---untimed, uncompetitive, and open to anyone who wants to ride.

We (my husband, J, and my son, D and I) went with a few friends---my dear friend Todd, and my friend David and his daughter, among others.  We caravaned to the Convention Center, parked, and walked our bikes to the start area. I have never---EVER--seen such a wide array of cyclists. The events I have been in have been either triathlons or bike-focused rides (like my century or metric century).  This had serious cyclists, but lots of recreational ones---tri bikes, road bikes, beach cruisers, kids, riders in tutus....crazy. I loved it.  We check in, put our numbers on our bikes, and waited in the long line of cyclists to get on the road.

let's roll! (yes, I wore my helmet)

waiting to start

Soon after we started was the one big hill---and it was quite a doozy.  The Coronado Bay Bridge.  I've driven this countless times, and ran it once in a race back in the 90s, but never biked it.  Going up was pretty darned steep. I was worried about my son---but I waited at the top and was so happy to see him and J coming up soon after me.  He had ridden up without walking his bike up. I was so proud! 

looking north on top of the bridge

looking south on to of the bridge

The rest of the ride was mostly routes I had done before in various training rides.  The bike path on the Silver Strand, the Bayshore Bikeway....most of it pretty flat and easy.  My son had some trouble, as he tired easily.  I had mistakenly told him it was a 22 mile ride, and he was unhappy to see it was 25 miles.  At one point, he was so frustrated and tired that his face literally crumpled. It was heartbreaking.  But he pressed on, and finished the ride. I thought he wouldn't want to do it again, but he said he loved it and wants to do it next year! I hope we do.  If so, I'll make sure he gets more training in than he did for this one. 25 miles is a long way for a young boy, especially if he hadn't properly trained.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

I've fallen off the blogging wagon yet again, and seem to have just been focusing on race recaps.  There have been some changes in my family that are pretty significant, and I want to focus on that right now.

School started a little over a month ago---and this time, we're in two new schools!

D is now in 6th grade, which is middle school here.  How I have a child old enough to be in middle school is truly beyond my comprehension.  He's 11!  I remember his first day of kindergarten so clearly-----and now he's out of elementary school and in middle school.  I am continuing to try to soak it all up---it goes so fast. I only have 7 more years left with him at home.  I can cry just thinking of that.

He's made a great adjustment to middle school.  His school is on a block system, which means that he only has 3 classes a day.  They alternate days---one day he has Language Arts, Science and P.E., and the next he has Social Studies, Math and Band.  Because there are only 3 classes a day (plus a homeroom that is the only daily class), each class is 90 minutes, giving them time to really dig into a subject.  But not only is he on a block system, it's a ROTATING block.  So Monday he will have periods 1-3-5.  Tuesday will be 2-4-6.  Then Wednesday it's 3-5-1, Thursday it's 4-6-2, Friday it's 5-1-3, and Monday it's 6-2-4. It sounds confusing, but the kids understand it within a few days.  I actually like it. It means that EVERYONE has every period at each time of the day at some point.  Every child will have math first thing in the morning, when their minds are fresh, and every child will have math after lunch, when they are more sleepy.  Every child will have P.E. first thing in the morning, when it's cooler, and every child will have P.E. after lunch, when it's hot. It's a great equalizer!  And, since there are only 3 classes a day (and really, only 2 academic classes a day) he doesn't have TONS of homework each day. Although, he really does still have a lot.

This year he is in GATE (Gifted and Talented).  He tested into the GATE program in 4th grade, but there really is no program in elementary school, with the budget cuts.  Here, GATE comes into play in middle school. The GATE classes are Language Arts and Social Studies.  He had a choice to be either in homogeneous class (all GATE students) or heterogeneous class (half GATE, half high-achieving but not GATE identified). He wanted homogeneous, and had to enter a lottery for it---and got it. I warned him that he would not be the smartest kid in the class anymore in this type of class, which could be good for him---and he's ok with that.  His math class is the highest there is too (there is no official GATE class for math, but they place kids in math based on their MAP scores).  He's in a compacted 6/7 class, meaning that he's getting a year and a half of math in one year.  Halfway through the year he'll get the 7th grade book.  This also means that he's past the point of me helping him in math.  Luckily, if he needs help, my husband, J, is a math whiz (his dream is to get his masters degree in math). I am great at Language Arts, writing, etc, so between the two of us we have him covered.

He also switched instruments this year. In 5th grade band, he learned the saxophone.  This year he wanted a change, and opted to play the baritone. (Click here to see what this is. I'd never heard of it until this year). He has to practice this most days, in addition to his homework, and also in addition to his guitar (he's been taking guitar lessons since 3rd grade). He has joined the astronomy club (meets once a month after school) and has made a few new friends, although he largely seems to be hanging out with his friends from his old school.  He had a rough start to the year with a few instances of irresponsibility, but now we have a plan that he follows to make sure all homework is done, paperwork is signed, etc.  I'm incredibly proud of him.

On the other hand, my daughter, A, is also in a new school.  She's now 9, and in 3rd grade.  We made the very difficult decision to place her in a special day class. She's been in general ed this whole time.  She's been doing ok, but not great, and between some behavioral problems she's exhibiting and the fact that she needs more one-on-one with reading comprehension, a smaller class was the way to go.  A general ed class has up to 28 kids (and up to 34 in 4th and 5th grade!) and not only does the teacher not have a lot of time for one-on-one attention, but it's very noisy, which is difficult for a deaf/hard-of-hearing kid.  This new class only has 11 kids (it will have no more than 14), and has two teachers.  It's a NSH class (non-severely handicapped) and the only special ed class-type in my district that is is on the academic track.  (We had to switch schools because at our old elementary school, the special day classes were autism classes)  Kids here are geared for a high school diploma, while other special ed classes are geared to a high school certificate.  In fact, their goal is to get the kids out of hte NSH class at some point and mainstream them back into general ed. That is my hope for A.  But, if she needs this class for the duration, then we'll do what we need to do.

She is getting lots of one-on-one.  Actually, she's in the highest reading and math groups, and for at least one of those groups she's the only one in it! I was nervous putting her in this class, but I'm thrilled so far at what I'm seeing her accomplish.  It was hard to admit that she needed more, that she needed special ed, but she does.  I'm proud of her, and frankly, I'm proud of myself and my husband, for recognizing this and placing her where she belongs.  She does miss her old school, and sometimes cries that she wants to go back, but for the most part she loves her new school and teacher.  It's good that we still have Brownies twice a month, because that's where the majority of here friends are and she can still see them. But she's made a few new friends at the new school as well, so that's good.

In short, both kid are where they need to be. Both kids have special needs of sorts, and I've placed them in classes that address that.  GATE or Special Day, each class is geared to my son and daughter, respectively.  I'm hoping that what I'm seeing during this first month continues all year!

Growing Up Too Quickly

Last week my son, D, promoted from elementary school.  From 5th grade to 6th grade.

I now have a middle schooler.

Wow.

I can't believe how fast time is flying.  I have always been keenly aware of how fast it goes. I remember still being in the hospital with him after he was born, and he was 3 days old---and being upset that he was already 3 days old.  THREE DAYS! I wanted to capture every moment, every memory. 

And now he's 11. And going off to middle school.

He is growing up to be, in one word, phenomenal.  I'm so proud of the person he's becoming.  He's kind and empathic and fun and so interesting to talk to. I mean, really interesting.  He is now a junior black belt in karate, and plays guitar, and now plays sax in the school band, and runs 5ks (and has even done a 10k) and does triathlon. He reads books way beyond his grade level, and asks me the most interesting, thought-provoking questions.

I'm so proud of the relationship I've fostered with him.  When A was born, and was in the hospital for several months, D was only 2.  Before she was born, he was my world.  Wherever I went, he went, and vice versa.  I was so in love!  I made a conscious decision when A was born that I didn't want him to feel second best---he needed me too!  So even when she was in the hospital, and I'd spend all morning in the NICU (he would either be at preschool camp or a friend's house or home if a relative was visiting) but I was with him all afternoon, through bedtime, and then I'd go back to the hospital.  All through his childhood, I used any nursing hours I received to spend time with him.  And though our nursing days are long over (thank goodness!) we still spend lots of time together.  We see plays and musicals, we go to museums, we run, and I still read to him every night (we recently finished the Hunger Game series, and have now started on the Divergent trilogy).  We have plans in a few years to run his first half marathon together (a destination trip, I promised him!) 

Recently I asked him if he ever felt left out because of A's medical needs. He said no---and when I told him I had strived to make him feel that way, he said mission accomplished.  Ah, I love that boy!

Now he goes to middle school. He's becoming a man.  Yes, he's still a little boy, but not really...he's growing up right before my eyes.  He's still a cuddle and loves to snuggle with me at night----just not in public!  I'm dreading the day that he doesn't want to cuddle with me anymore, but for now, I savor each one.

I'm excited for him, and a bit worried too.  Three of his six classes next year will be accelerated (GATE for English and Social Studies, and a compacted math class [a year and a half of math in one year]).  Plus Science, PE and band.  It'll be culture shock to him, but I guess it was for me too, back in the day, going into middle school.  He'll be ok.  He'll navigate it all---academically, socially, and emotionally.

Ah, D.  I love that boy.  I just cherish him so much.....and although he's growing up too quickly, I am also loving watching him develop into the man he is becoming.

Rock 'n Roll San Diego 5k Race Recap

This past weekend was the Rock 'n Roll San Diego weekend. I ended up not only doing the half marathon, but the inaugural 5k the day before as well.  If you did the 5k on Saturday, and then either the half or full marathon on Sunday, they called that the Remix Challenge and you got a special medal at the end for completing both.  The 5k was a special add-on for me. I had registered for the half marathon, to use as a training run for Vineman 70.3, which is in July.  My son, D, wanted to do the 5k, so I signed him up for that.  Soon after, I thought maybe I should do it, too. I NEVER run two days in a row (it's usually too much for my body and its perpetual injuries) but I figured a 5k should be ok. I talked it over with my friend and coach, Steve, and he thought it was a good idea. In fact, he wanted me to run the 5k, then bike 90 minutes, in order to go into the half marathon on tired legs.  He wants me running on tired legs to simulate running the half marathon at the end of the half-Ironman.

The kink in all these plans was that I was sick all last week. Monday (Memorial Day) I was sick as a dog and in bed all day.  I think I accidentally ate something with meat in it. It was awful and I was miserable.  In addition to the nausea and vomiting I was experiencing, I also got a migraine. I was just as sick on Tuesday.  Wednesday through Friday I was much, much better, although not great.  From Monday through Friday, I only did one workout, which was a slow 30 minute run. No other runs. No swims. No bike rides. I was going into this weekend feeling a bit weak and not at all ready.

The day before, I headed to the expo to get our packets. I got there soon after it opened, as I wanted time to walk around but needed to get my kids from school.  $15 parking later (!!!!) I was in the convention center. I was excited to see my picture on the Runner Guy poster!  They had had a scavenger hunt contest earlier in the year, looking for photos of specific things. One of the items was "a Texan in San Diego". I submitted a picture of myself running the Rock 'n Roll San Diego Half Marathon from 2012, a race in which I wore my Texas running bra and Texas headband.  I won,  and my picture was in the collage.

pointing to my picture

there's me, at the bottom!

Once I got my bibs and shirts, I was free to wander around.  This is a pretty large expo, so there was lots to see.  I haven't bought anything at an expo in a long time, but this time succumbed to temptation. I ended up with two cute runner girl tank tops from Bay Six USA. I've also been eying running shoe charms for a while,  but never bought them because they're so frivolous. However,  I ended up treating myself to two. I got this cute 13.1 charm, and ordered a 70.3 one as well (they are mailing that one to me as they didn't have any there). I saw a few people I knew and chatted a bit. Such a hometown race, even though it's huge.

I also ended up registering for next year's half marathon.  They have a deal right now that the half is only $50 and the full is $59! I almost registered for the full, but as I'm doing a full in January (something I haven't disclosed yet on the blog, but will discuss soon once I wrap my head around it) I decided the half would be plenty.  I didn't think I'd be doing another Rock 'n Roll event (for reasons I'll talk about when I recap the half marathon) but hey, $50 is a smoking deal for ANY half marathon, let alone this particular race, which can get to over $100 in cost. As I was registering for next year, a Competitor worker came over and gave me a free tank top for registering. That was an unexpected bonus. So, I guess I know what I'm doing June 5, 2016 already!

On my way out of the expo, they were just introducing Meb and Harriette Thompson to speak. Harriette was setting out to become the oldest woman to ever complete a marathon. I listened to her speak and was so inspired. She didn't run her first marathon until she was 78 years old!  She said this last year has been hard, as her husband (I think of 67 years?) died this year, and and she has a hole in her leg from radiation treatment, but that she was going to try.  (Spoiler:  she did it!  Watch this!)  I spoke to her after and told her how inspired I was by her. I not only want to be like her when I'm 92---I want to be like her now, at age 45!

Harriette Thompson

Meb

After they spoke, I got to meet Meb!  I just inched my way through the crowd of cameramen and talked to him. I told him that I've seen him running on Fiesta Island when I was biking (I biked past him and really wanted to turn around and say hi, but he was training for Boston and I knew that would be wrong). When told him that, he grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes and asked me my name.  We totally shared a moment!  We locked gazes for quite a while.  Ah, huge crush. He wished me luck on Sunday, and I floated on air out of there.

treasured selfie!

 I shouldn't have been surprised that he was so nice. Every pro runner or triathlete that I've met (I haven't met a ton, but I've talked to Deena Kastor and Jeff Gallway, as well as Matty Reed and Chris McCormack) and they are always so nice and humble.  Runners are the BEST!

After that, I had to hightail out of there so I wouldn't be late getting the kids from school. I was on a high the rest of the day from my meeting with Meb.

The next morning D and I got up early to get to Balboa Park.  Although the website said to park off President's Way, I decided to bypass any traffic and park at the zoo.  Walking over the Prado bridge, I ran into my friend Smitha.

me and Smitha

Once at the race site, I ran into more friends, including my friend Ingrid and my friend Briana.  Briana is a new friend to me.  She is a very close friend to my dear friend Tammy.  A few years ago, I encouraged Tammy to run her first half marathon (now she's done several!) and in turn, Tammy encouraged Briana to complete her first.  Now Briana is just as addicted as I am and she did her 17th half marathon this weekend! It was great to finally meet her in person. (You can read her recap here)

Briana and me

Soon enough it was time to line up.  We self-seeded by expected pace, so D went to the 8 minute mile (he's been running 8:30 mm 5ks recently) while I went back to the 11 minute mile corral.  Corrals were let off minutes apart, so by the time I got to the start line, I saw D running back on his out-and-back.  I also saw Deena Kastor, who was leading the 8 mm group.  Yay Deena!

Finally it was my turn to start running. I had accidentally left my iPod in the car, so it was just me and my thoughts. It was just as well---before I even hit the mile marker I started to feel very sick. My migraine had started to come back.  Ugh!  I had migraine medicine with me, but didn't want to take it WHILE running. I decided to just suffer through.  I was so nauseous and in so much pain.  Not ideal conditions for running a race!  Since I didn't care about the time, I just shuffled through.  The course was one I've done many, many times----any 5k I've done in Hillcrest uses it----up and back on 6th Avenue, then through part of a loop in the Park.  Some little hills, nothing major, but when you're not feeling well, they seemed like mountains. This time I got no joy from it. I just wanted to be DONE!

When I finished, I got my medal and found D waiting for me. Briana was there too, so I got to see her again. I went to find a patch of grass, took my migraine medicine, and laid down. I was not doing well, at all.  Smitha walked by and was concerned but I waved her off. I knew I'd make it home. Finally I got up and we trudged back to the car. It was one of the worst 5k times I've ever posted...not that I was trying to go fast, but I can go faster than that!  D, too, had a bad race. He ran 11 minute miles; apparently he hurt his foot at karate the night before.  Not a great race for either of us.

post-race, looking miserable

I got us home and took a short nap.  Later I felt well enough to go on that bike ride, so I got that done.  I was nervous about the half marathon the next day----what if I woke up with a migraine? What would I do?

To be continued in the next post!

Diamond Valley Reverse Sprint Triathlon Race Recap

A few months ago I received an email from our local youth triathlon coach that a new triathlon,  the DV Triathlon, would be held in April and that there was a kids' race as part of it.  I was intrigued, as this was a REVERSE triathlon, meaning instead of doing a swim/bike/run, athletes would do a run/bike/swim, with the swim in a pool.  I ran the idea past my son, D, who at that time was 10 years old but would be newly 11 on race day.  He did his first two triathlons last year, both kid-sized races, and while he enjoyed both, he wasn't overly thrilled with the open water swims he had to to do in the chilly bay.  He loved the idea of a pool swim. However, since he would be 11 on race day, he would have to race the adult-length distance (only kids 10 and under got the shorter distances).  Still, these would be doable distances for him---the race was advertised as a 5k run, 15k bike and 175 meter swim.  My husband, J, was also interested, having done his first triathlon this past October, and I signed the two of them up.

Life intervened, as it always does.  J recently had brain surgery to insert another deep-brain stimulator to help with his Parkinson's Disease symptoms.  As it was very recent (end of March) he was under doctor's orders not to swim for a few months, to allow his head to heal.  I'd already paid for him, so I contacted the race director and asked if I could take his place.  The race director was extremely nice and accommodating, and suddenly I had another race coming up.   I had never done a reverse triathlon, and I'd also never done a tri swim in a pool!  I was especially excited to do this with my son---we'd be starting at the same time and everything! My friend Steve, who is coaching me for my upcoming half-Ironman at Vineman, ordered me to run hard and hammer the bike.  With such short distances, there was no reason not to.

This race was in Hemet, a good hour away from home, so on race day we left the house at 5:15 (we still had to pick up our race packet, and the youth coach wanted to meet with the kids at 6:30).  My kids were troopers getting up so early.  We had no trouble getting to the race site, which was at a rec center.  We checked in, got our packet (which consisted of a t-shirt, timing chip and one small sticker for the bike--no swim cap, and I was glad I'd thought to put one of my own in my bag as a precautionary measure), and our race numbers written on our hand.  There were bike racks set up, but in my opinion there should have been a few more--space was tight, and I counted myself lucky to find a space next to my son.  There were a lot of newbie triathletes doing this race (it really was a perfect race for a first timer) but along with that comes not knowing how to set up transition.  I only had room to fold my towel in quarters and set my stuff up---only swim cap, goggles and bike shoes (helmet and sunglasses were on the bike).  It's been a while since I've had such a minimal setup.

Then it was time to wait.  A 5k-only race started at 7, and a few minutes after that was the kids' race.  Our race was supposed to start at 7:30, but they wanted to wait for the kids to get off the course first.  Totally understandable, the kids' safety comes first---hopefully next time they will account for that in the start times.  It was fun to watch the kids come back into transition from their run and bike----they are so inspiring!  We also passed the time chatting to the people around us, including a woman for whom this was her first triathlon (and she doesn't know how to bike yet---she has training wheels!  How courageous is that?)

Finally, it was time to start our run.  From the beginning, D was way ahead of me (he finished with a pace at about a 8:30 minute mile, while mine was 11:00).  On this out-and-back run course, I got to see him as he passed me.  Later, another man who was on his way back shouted to me "your son is way ahead of you!".  Thanks, dude, I know.  I ran hard, often clocking paces in the high 9's (which is TOTALLY unsustainable for me), but even with my walk breaks I still had a good pace.  There was one water station on the course, but it wasn't very warm so I didn't need it.  The transition area appeared too soon, and shortly after I passed my cheering husband and daughter the 5k clocked short per my Garmin----by over 1/10 a mile.

finishing the run

It should have been a quick transition-- running shoes off, bike shoes on, helmet and sunglasses on and GO!- but I had to use the bathroom and while I guess I could have waited until after the race, I decided to go.  The bathrooms were real---in the rec center, not port-o-potties---and I had to wait for a stall.  I didn't care though, I was ok adding a few minutes onto T1 here.  Finally I was off on the bike.   As I rode out, my husband told me that D was 9 minutes ahead of me (made sense with his run pace and my bathroom break).  Steve wanted me to maintain a 17 mph pace.  I was using my new Garmin 910xt for the first time in a race, and the screen kept scrolling to different screens, so I had a hard time seeing my speed.  I decided to just hammer and let my body do what it could do without seeing the Garmin.

The bike course was a double loop, and very flat. I was able to stay in aero for most of it, and just concentrated on strong pedal strokes.  On the first loop I saw D as he passed by me on his way back on the out-and-back.  He looked good! I was expecting to catch him on the first loop, but it took me until the middle of the second to finally pass him.  As I did, he complained that his shoulder hurt. I asked him if he wanted me to stop, but he said no, to keep going, so I did. 

I was pleased with my bike performance. I did a 17 mph ride!  I know that's not fast for a lot of people, especially on a flat course, but for slowpoke me that was lightning fast.  I also passed a lot of people, which made me feel really good. 

Coming into T2, I noticed that like the run course, the bike course was a bit short.  A 15k should have been 9.3 miles, and I clocked 8.9.  I dismounted, ran my bike to the rack, and took off my shoes and helmet and grabbed my swimcap and goggles..  After I started to trot into the adjacent pool, I realized my socks were still one.  Doh!  I had to run back to transition to peel them off, then back to the pool.  The swim was done in a serpentine style---swim up one lane, duck under the rope to the next lane and push off the wall to swim down.  I'd never done this before, and actually thought this was fun. I was swimming in my tri suit, which felt weird, as I always swim in my bathing suit (whenever I do I triathlon I have a wetsuit over my clothes as open water here in San Diego is so cold!).  The water was warm, and I felt sluggish. I know I could have swam a lot faster than I did, but for some reason I just couldn't.  Or didn't.  Someone kept slapping my foot on one lap, so I sped up, but except for that I just crawled along.

I was expecting 7 lengths, to make the advertised 175 meters, so I was surprised when I got to 150 YARDS (the pool was yards, not meters) and it was time to get out. I climbed out on the steps, crossed the finish mat, and got a medal. I was surprised they had medals---it was such a low-key race, without even swim caps, so it was a nice touch.  After I got out, I saw my husband and daughter, who were cheering on D---he was in the middle of his laps. He was struggling, and a really nice woman in the pool kept encouraging him.  When he finally got out, he was crying and said it was the hardest thing he'd ever done.  He hadn't done too much training (especially on the bike) recently, despite me asking him repeatedly, so I think he learned a much needed life lesson---that to compete, especially at longer, adult distances, he needs to put more training in.

All in all, it was a very fun race. I loved racing with my son.  I really liked the small-town vibe of the race. My only complaint is that all 3 distances fell short, something that can be easily remedied for next year (or advertised differently).  I found that reverse triathlons are fun, and I LOVED the pool swim versus the cold open bay or ocean water I'm used to competing in!  I'd love to do this again with my son, but actually I hope that next year it's my husband doing it with him instead of me.

Hot Buttered Run 10k Race Recap

This past weekend I ran in my last race of 2014, the Hot Buttered Run 10k.

Full disclosure: I only signed up for this race because a few months ago I was looking at the sidebar of my blog (where I list upcoming races and races completed) and noticed I had a race every month this year except for December.  Yes, I participated in at least one event each month (whether a run-only, bike-only, swim-only, or triathlon) and December was blank. I've never had a year where I raced each month, and while it was totally accidental that it worked out that way, I couldn't leave December blank.  I didn't want to do a half marathon, or a 5k....and this 10k worked beautifully into my schedule.  They also had a kid's 1k race that day, so I registered my 8 year old daughter, A

Three weeks ago, I was talking to my 10 year old son, D, about his running goals. He's been running 5ks with me for a few years now, and is quite good at them (much faster than me!). I asked him if he wanted to bump up to a 10k....and was excited when he agreed!  At first we were looking at a 10k next March, but then I thought of this race, which I was already signed up for.  He agreed to try.  So two weeks ago I took him to Miramar Lake, a local lake with a 5 mile loop.  He ran it with me, and liked it, so when we got home I registered him for the 10k.  After all, as I told him, if he could run 5, he could run 6.2.

Fast forward to race weekend. This past weekend was CRAZY!  A was in the Nutcracker (a feat that deserves its own post) on Saturday and I had no time to get the race packets. My husband was kind enough to go down to Road Runner Sports to get all three of our packets---just a bib and the race shirts, but the 10k shirts were long-sleeved tech--score!  A's 1k shirt was cotton, but adorable.  Sunday morning came all too quickly, but since the race didn't start until 10 (!!) we got to sleep in.  We left the house at 9, drove to Paradise Point in Mission Bay, and easily found parking. I had enough time to wait for the port-o-potties, then D and I made our way to the start line.  There were 3 corrals, and we chose the last one, which was for 10 minute or more milers.  A stayed with my husband to wait for us.  By the way, they also had a kid's zone there, a place you could leave your child in a daycare-type situation while the parent ran the race. I didn't need to use that, but I'm sure a lot of people did.

tree-lined finish line

So, D and I lined up.  Finally it was time for our corral to start (they released all 3 corrals separately).  We started with my 2 minute run/30 second walk ratio, which helps me tremendously with my sciatic pain.  I told D he could run on ahead if he wanted, but wisely he stuck with me, knowing that if he went out on his own he'd burn out too quickly.  It was getting warm, and I was glad I had brought Gatorade for the two of us to drink in my Fuel Belt.  They did have two aid stations on the course, but with a race that long and a day that warm, I needed more.

start line

The course was gorgeous----circling all around the Mission Bay area.  The sun, the water, and everyone dressed in their holiday gear made for great things to look at. I hadn't brought my iPod with me, as I was running with D, but had so much to look at to keep me occupied.  Oh---I dressed up too!  I got us each a headband with a present on it, jingle bell bracelets, and Christmas light necklaces that actually lit up.  D ditched the headband, but the jingle bell bracelets made a nice festive noise the whole run.

view of Mission Bay

The first four miles were great.  At around mile 4 D started to tire and want more walk breaks, so I reduced our ratio to 90 seconds run/30 seconds walk.  Soon he was complaining that his ankle hurt.  He said it was a 6 (out of 10) on the pain scale, which worried me.  We were only at mile 4.5 at that point.  We actually stopped so I could take his shoe off and look at it.  His ankle looked fine to me----no swelling, no discoloration, etc----but I told him we could walk the rest of the way, or I could carry him, or we could call for a pickup (not finish).  He wanted to finish, and in fact decided to run faster so he could finish quicker!  At mile 5 I  told him I wasn't going to do any more set intervals--that the last mile was his, and I'd run when he ran, and walked when he walked, at his discretion.  And run he did!  He is much faster than me, and the next half mile I was chasing after him at a 9:35 pace (by contrast, my usual run pace is about 10:45 [minus walk breaks]).  Half a mile later, I thought I was going to burst a lung. He didn't need a walk break, but I did after that sprint, so I told him to go ahead and finish.  I watched him fade in the distance, and then met him at the finish line, where they called my name.

 D finished 45 seconds faster than me. I was so impressed--not only was this his first 10k, but he hadn't really trained for it, save for that one 5 mile run two weeks ago. I'd love to see his time if he trains, and doesn't have ankle pain. As for me, it wasn't a PR, but I was only 2 minutes off my 10k PR, which is great considering I stopped in the middle of the race to look at his ankle, and slowed down my ratio. 

After the race, we found my husband and daughter.  There were no medals for the 10k runners, which was a bummer. I didn't really care too much for me, although I do enjoy them to remember the race by, but my son was sad, especially as he just got a medal rack for Hanukkah!  Oh well.  They had nice snacks after, and hot drinks---hot buttered rum for the adults, and hot chocolate for those under 21. I tried the rum drink, but personally didn't like it at all, and ended up tossing it.

hot buttered rum

When the last 10k runner crossed the finish line, it was time for the kids' races.  First they changed the sign at the start line---a nice touch!  They had a mini race for kids 8 and under---it literally just went to a nearby parking lot and back, and those runners were back in about a minute!  Then it was the 1k runner's turn.  Most kids ran alone, but I ran with A, as I didn't want her to get lost or trampled.  The cutest part of this race (just an out-and-back to another parking lot) was when A turned to me and said, "I'm doing great!".  The kids got a medal when they crossed, and an opportunity to receive a candy cane from Santa Claus, which A refused. 

kids' sign is up

All in all, a great race. It was fun to run with both my son and my daughter.  And to see my son complete his first 10k---all I can say is, WOW!!  We're thinking ahead a few years to when he's a teen...that may be a good time to do his first half marathon. In the meantime, we've officially bumped him up to 10ks!  And I'm proud of my daughter. While I'm not sure she's ready to start training for a 5k anytime soon (although, who knows?) she did great on the 1k!  I would definitely recommend this fun, festive race as a great end-of-the-year event.

Awesome 80's 5k Race Recap ('14)

For the third year in a row, I ran in the Awesome 80's race.  The inaugural year, 2012, I ran the 10k option (it was my first 10k ever).  Last year they only offered a 5k option, which was fine with me, as I ran it with  my son.  This year it was again only offered as a 5k, and an untimed one at that.  Still, my son, D, and I were excited to run it, as we had fun dressing up last year and wanted to again this year.  Plus, the theme was Pac Man, and we were coveting the cute medals!

Having learned from the mistake I made in last week's 5k (not reading the instructions carefully) I made sure I knew when packet pickup was.  They only had a few hours blocked out on Friday afternoon, which was Halloween.  My kids were troopers, going with me to packet pickup at Road Runner Sports in their Halloween costumes, which they had worn to school.  While at Road Runner Sports, I treated myself to a new Amphipod belt for my phone (we have a Nathan brand one at home that doesn't really fit my huge phone), which I used during the race and loved.  We were given a t-shirt and bib; no goodie bags or timing chips, as it was untimed.  (Side note: I wasn't aware that this race was untimed until I received the race day instruction email just a few days before. Not that I wouldn't have run the race anyway, as I do love this race, but it would have been nice to know this fact at registration. All previous years were chip timed).

Friday night, soon after trick-or-treat, it began to rain. I heard that it hasn't rained on Halloween in San Diego since 1988, so this is truly rare.  I asked D if he still wanted to go with me in the morning if it was raining (I would go regardless) and he said yes. I had to laugh---he's hardcore like his mama!  But I wasn't laughing when I woke up early Saturday morning. The plan was to leave the house by 5:30, and I was up before 5. It was POURING rain.  Ugh!  I woke up D and he still wanted to go. We decided not to wear our 80's costumes; we'll save them for next year.  We got dressed in alternate clothing, grabbed some windbreakers, and headed out the door. Luckily it stopped raining soon after we started driving down to Mission Bay, and it didn't start raining again.

The last two years parking was hard.  There's a dirt lot at the corner of Mission Bay Drive and Sea World Drive that most people park in, including us. It's a bit of a walk to the start, but not too far.  However, I didn't want to park there this time, as I knew the lot would now be mud. I didn't want to park in it, OR walk in it. I chanced getting off the freeway an exit early and made my way down a back way toward Fiesta Island. I was glad I did, as there was PLENTY of parking in a real lot, and very close to the start line at that!  We got down there by 6, and waited in the car for half an hour, as the race didn't start until 7.  We finally got out and made our way to the start. It was very uncrowded, especially as compared to the previous two years.  They had port-o-potties, but also there is a real bathroom there, as it's a park. Last year I waited in a long line for the real bathroom.  This year I walked right in and had my choice of stalls! I believe the rain scared people away, which was a shame because it did stop raining after all.  D and I check out the DeLorean that was there for display, and then lined up to run.  D wanted to be up in the front; it wasn't a timed race, but there was a finish line clock and he wanted to check his time at the finish so he wanted to be first out the gate (I had my Garmin for me, so it didn't matter about my placement).

view of the DeLorean and hoverboard

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Soon we were off!  This course is always very boring...a loop around ugly Fiesta Island. I didn't take pictures this time, as I was actually running really well and didn't want to stop.  I've been running a 2 minute run/30 second walk ratio during training, but during the race I did 4 1/2 minute run and 30 second walk. My injuries (sciatic nerve compression and capsulitis in my toe) didn't hurt at all.  I felt great! At the finish line I double high-fived Chewbacca and Mario. Only at an 80's race, right?  I ended up finishing (unofficially, of course) with a 10:46 minute/mile pace, which is pretty darned good for me in a 5k.  Not a PR, but one of my best.  D finished the run in 29 minutes flat.  Much faster than me!

finish line

We got our cool Pac Man medals and were home by 8:15. I was proud of him for not only running such a great race, but for being willing to run in bad conditions.  We hope to do this run again next year, this time in costume!

loved this year's theme!

Broadway Lovers

In March 2010 I took my son, D, to his first play. It was "Pippi Longstocking", a production put on by the local children's theater, the San Diego Junior Theatre.  He was almost 6 years old at the time. I saw an ad in one of those local free children's magazines, and thought it would be a fun thing to do with him.

Little did I know that 4 years later theater, especially musical theater, would be one of our great bonding experience.  For a few years, we would choose a few plays from the Junior Theatre to go to; last year I gave in and bought season tickets, as we had started to go to more and more of the shows.  While it's a children's theater, their caliber of execution is amazing----the acting, props, costume and choreography are simply amazing.  We have seen too many shows there to count, including "Beauty and the Beast", "Guys and Dolls", and "The Sound of Music".

In recent years we started to branch out to other theaters in San Diego; why limit ourselves just to the Junior Theatre? I "liked" the Facebook pages of most of the theaters all over town, from downtown to Coronado to Oceanside.  As a result, we have gotten to see some really neat productions, including "Cats", "Annie Get Your Gun", "Seussical the Musical", "Annie" and "Into the Woods". Actually we have seen so many shows over the past 4 years that I truly can't remember them all.  While I would love to take him to more shows at the magestic Civic Theatre, those tickets are very expensive and therefore we only see shows there that I feel we cannot miss (i.e. I'm trying to get tickets to take him to see "Wicked" there).

Musical theater is something I didn't expect to have in common with my son, but, like running and reading, it's something I delight in sharing.  A few weeks ago we were waiting to see "Thoroughly Modern Millie", and in the program was an ad for Les Miserables.  I asked him if he wanted to see it. He looked me in the eye, and said, "Mama, I want to see ALL the plays.".  A boy after my own heart.  We saw "Les Mis" last week.  We have also rented some musicals to watch on tv, and if I am able to rent the soundtrack from the library, we like to listen to the songs on the way home from the show.

Growing up, I didn't go to the theater too often, but the times I did really stick out in my mind. I remember my parents taking me to the big theaters in Los Angeles to see Cats, Pirates of Penzance and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.  My mother furthered my love for musicals by renting movies such as "Carousel" and "Oklahoma!" for me and my sisters while I was in my teens.  These memories with my parents will always be with me---and I hope my son has the same warm memories when he gets older. 

I have taken my daughter to a few plays as well, and have tickets for some in the coming months, but she doesn't have the love for it (yet) that my son has.  If she develops that passion, I'll include her more as well.  In the meantime, I'm really enjoying my one-on-one time with my boy---and seeing some great live theater to boot!

UCSD Triton 5k Recap

A few weeks ago my son, D, and I participated in the UCSD Triton 5k.  This is a local race put on by my alma mater, the University of California, San Diego.  I did it many years ago (in either 1999 or 2000) but back then it was called the Chancellor's Challenge and ran mainly through the campus eucalyptus grove on trails.  Now, many years later, it's revamped and goes on a loop through much of the campus.  The fact that the registration fees were very low for alumni was also a plus. 

I wanted to do this race with D because, even though we live in San Diego, he's never been on the campus before. I thought it would be a great way to show him around.  He was excited to finally be on a college campus!  We arrived very early, because not only did I not attend packet pickup the day before, but I didn't know where I was going!  I graduated in 1991, so long ago...and much of the campus is new to me.  Luckily there were great directions sent to us, I easily found parking in a garage, and we got our bibs with no hassle.  T-shirts would be given to us after the race.

Because we were so early, we decided to walk around a bit.  Not too far from the start was my old apartment from my sophomore year (1988-1989), at the old Third College (now Thurgood Marshall College).  Just seeing the balcony brought back a flood of memories for me. I showed D, and walked around the apartment complex a bit to check out the field, the laundry room, etc.

my top-floor apartment, unit G-6

After walking around a bit more, it was time to go back to the start--but not before D ran into someone he knew from school!  Randomly, the kindergarten "little buddy" he'd been assigned to all year was there.  The chances of running into him were so slim!  I also ran into another old friend; I hadn't seen him since the mid-90's!  It was nice to see him and meet his daughter.  We got in line, waited for the start, and were off!

start line

The plan was for D to run/walk slowly with me.  For one, I wasn't planning on running the whole thing, and I was going to run slowly. I took 7 weeks off of running to try to heal my Achilles tendinopathy, and race was only one week back into my running. And it was my longest run in 7 weeks.  But second, I wanted to show D the campus and point things out to him, so he was instructed to keep to my (slower) pace, walk when I walked, and spend the morning with you.

The run looped through the whole campus.  I was able to point out Thurgood Marshall, Muir and Revelle Colleges. The dorms I used to visit friends in.  The lecture halls I used to take classes in.  The pool I used to play intra-mural inner-tube water polo in.  The library I used to study in.  The fountain I would sit at with friends between classes, sunning myself.  The memories came fast and furious.

I was especially excited to see the new (to me) installments of the Stuart Collection, an eclectic series of art projects placed all over the campus.  We only saw a few, though, and I look forward to going back on day and seeing the rest.  One that I was excited to see was Fallen Star, which is a house perched on top of a building.  D was excited to see this too.  Sadly, he missed his chance, as he had run ahead of me at this point and was not there to hear me point it out to him.

see the house up there?

Yes, at mile 2, D decided he'd had enough of Mama's pace and ran on ahead.  While I was proud of him for doing so well, I WAS a bit annoyed at him, as the whole point of the race was to do it together so I could show him things! His loss.

At the halfway point in the race, at the one water station, they were also unprepared---they had two tables set up, one on each side of the sidewalk, and NO water was poured at either table.  Runners were queued up several people deep at each table waiting for the volunteers to pour the water.  Luckily we didn't need to stop, but if we had, that would have been a huge chunk off our time.

The end of the race was on the track (which was cool, as I'd never run on a track before).  I crossed as they announced my name, and found D, who was waiting for me.  There were no medals at this race (D was ok with this, telling me, "it's ok, I have my memories of it!"), so we didn't have to deal with that, but we DID want water.  Unfortunately, this was very unorganized. We had to wait in a long line (over 10 minutes long) just to get water and a banana...then wait about 5-10 minutes more in this same long line to get our t-shirts.  That was not good, especially as it was a warm morning.  After finally getting our water, banana and shirt, we wandered the huge festival for a while.  We each had a beer ticket for the beer garden (yes, even my 10-year old!!!) and we gave them away to friends of my friend Andrea, who was there to cheer her husband on in his first 5k.

Overall it was fun---the only complaint I have is the lack of water on the course and the long wait for water after.  But in terms of the race itself, it was great to be back at my alma mater and show it off to my son.  Who knows---maybe in another decade I'll be doing the race with him as a student there!

Endings and Beginnings

"This, too, shall pass."

A phrase that is used all the time, especially in relation to bad things.  I try to remember this when I am going through a really hard time in my life.  When my daughter, A, has been unexpectedly hospitalized (like when her lungs collapsed, or her neck broke), I repeat that phrase over and over to myself.  I realize that while things may look dark and awful at the moment, one day I'll be able to look back, and while I may not smile, I won't focus on the hard moments.

The thing is, the phrase also applies to the good times.  All things, both good and bad, pass with time.

Yesterday was my kids' last day of school.  I now have a newly minted 5th grader and 2nd grader.  This coming year will be my son, D's, last year in elementary school. One more year and he'll be in middle school.  Additionally, my daughter had her bridging ceremony in Girl Scouts last weekend, so now instead of Daisy she's a Brownie. It's weird for me to see her in a brown uniform instead of blue!

I remember clearly one winter day, when D was 5 years old, and in preschool. D and I were at our local park, which is right next to the elementary school.  (A was at home with our nurse).  The next year D would be heading to kindergarten, so I wanted to go into the school office to ask when kindergarten registration was.  D was too scared to go on the school grounds---he was crying that there were too many big kids there.  I agreed to wait until after school was over, so we did.  It was only when the school was cleared of kids that D felt comfortable being there.

Now, D is a 5th grader, at the top of the student heap.  Where did the time go?

I've written before how I mourn the passage of time. Even when D was an infant, STILL IN THE HOSPITAL at 3 days old, I was upset at how quickly time was ticking away.  Now he's 10, and I only have him for 8 more years before he leaves home for college.  Of course, the older both kids get, the better it gets---I love the individual relationships I have fostered with both my son and daughter, relationships that only happen with their growth and their maturity. I don't REALLY miss the days of nursing and diapers and swaddling---yet sometimes I do.

Life is made up of moments, good and bad. I can think back on my son's life and images, like a movie, play on my mind.  Running races with him, going to plays, reading books, temper tantrums, time-outs, cooking with him, legos.  Likewise with my daughter, I think of reading, going out to coffee, her tracheostomy, hospital stays, the American Girl store, painting our nails.  Too many images to write, and certainly more life experiences that happened that I can't remember. And I desperately want to remember it all. The good and the bad.  The hard times and the amazing times.  I  don't scrapbook anymore, which is a shame, as I would love a visual reminder of my years of early motherhood once my children are grown.

There are certain markers in life that clearly delineate the passage of time.  Going from grade to grade, then elementary to middle and high schools.  Testing from one belt to another in karate.  Going from Daisies to Brownies (and then Juniors, and beyond, in Girl Scouts).  Racing a kids' 1/4 mile race, graduating to the mile, then running 5ks, and now contemplating a 10k.  At each marker I celebrate with joy, tempered with an undercurrent of bittersweetness.  Each stage marks something new and exciting, while marking the end of something else.

Looking forward to this summer to regroup my feelings; then I'll be able to fully embrace the new.

Double Digits

A few weeks ago, my son, D, turned 10.

Double digits.  The big 1-0.  A decade old.

While it doesn't seem possible that I've now been a mother for a decade, there it is.  I've written about D so much before....too many posts to link to, in fact, so I won't link to any. For the fun of it, I just clicked on the "My Boys" tab at the top of my blog and saw post after post that I have written about D....full of pride, bittersweet at how fast he's growing up, always with love.

Last weekend we were on our way to a play.  We saw "Shrek: The Musical" at the San Diego Junior Theatre. D and I have been going to see plays and musicals and this theater for a few years now, and finally this year bought season tickets since we see all the shows anyway.  We've been branching out to other theaters in San Diego, not just the Junior Theatre, and have been having fun exploring new theaters and seeing new plays.

But I digress.

We were on our way to the play, when he said to me, "Mama, we do so many things together.".  When I asked him to name some, here's what he came up with:

• see plays and musicals together
• read together (I've been reading to him almost nightly all his life.  We're currently on the second book in Rick Riordan's Kane Chronicles, "The Throne of Fire")
• do puzzles together (we're in the middle of our first 1000 piece puzzle, this awesome rock 'n' roll one)
• run together (we've run countless 5ks together and I hope to do a 10k with him next year)
• bike together (he just got a new bike, in fact, and is slowly increasing his distance)
• play guitar together (well, although I play a little, he is pretty darned good, and I enjoy sometimes singing to his playing)
• watch shows together (we just started watching "Survivor" together for the first time)
• play golf together

In short, he's become someone fun for me to do things with, not just my little boy.  As much as I wish he'd stay small forever, I am thoroughly enjoying the young man he is becoming.  He's FUN!  He marches to the beat of his own drum---he doesn't really care what others think.  He's brilliant, interesting and comes up with ideas and theories that blow me away.

He's also tenacious.  This weekend he'll be doing this first triathlon.  That's right--a triathlon!  This weekend is the Spring Sprint (a race that I myself did in 2011). My BFF is doing his first triathlon that day too---and D is doing the kids version, called the Itsy Bitsy Triathlon, for kids 7-10 years old.  It's a 100 yard swim, 3 mile bike, and 3/4 mile run. 

A few weeks ago he got an awesome new bike from my daddy and step-mother---a sweet 21-speed mountain bike, which is a huge upgrade from the 1 speed used BMX he'd been riding.  On his actual birthday, he told me he wanted to ride 10 miles for his 10th birthday.  Of course, the endurance athlete in me was so happy!  To date, his longest bike ride had been 5 miles, which is the distance around a local lake we like to bike. 

We got to the lake, and did one lap.  At the end of the lap, he was exhausted and wanted to go back to the car. I told him we could, but his goal had been 10 miles, not 5. I would do whatever he wanted to do, but wanted him to think things through.  He decided to go for 10. As we biked the second loop, I told him about the triathlon saying "suck it up, buttercup", and that he was my little buttercup for sucking it up and continuing.  At the end, he was so proud of himself for completing both the 10 miles and his goal.

The next day he showed even more tenacity.  I had signed us up for a local 5k, the Peace Love Run (race recap still pending!).  We got there bright and early, which was no easy feat since he was up late the night before at his birthday party.  As we watched the half marathon start, and then the 10k, suddenly D got a stomach ache, and told me he wanted to go home.  I knew he must not have been feeling well (too much cake and ice cream the night before!) as he loves to run and race, and told him if he didn't feel well we could go home. Or, he could try to walk it. Or, he could try to run it and stop if he needed.  I was prepared to leave, when he said he would try to run. I'm glad he did, because not only did he run the whole thing, but he came in a full 2 minutes ahead of me!  My little buttercup, sucking it up.

Right after the 5k, we drove to the other side of Mission Bay for his first open-water swim practice, in preparation for his triathlon.  We met my best friend and Steve.  The water was c-c-c-c-cold!  And poor D, who is little and has NO body fat, was freezing. He was crying, saying he made a big mistake in signing up for the tri.  But in the end, he dunked in the water and swam a bit.  Once again, sucking it up.

In short, in a 24 hour period, he "sucked it up, buttercup" with running, biking and swimming.

That's my boy. I posted about his bike ride on Dailymile, and got great responses, especially this one from my friend Rose:  "The fact that he wanted to do this for his birthday is such a great tribute to you! Your enjoyment both of being active and achieving goals has rubbed off, congratulations."

I could go on and on about D---but it all boils down to this:  I love him. I can't believe it's been a decade already, and at the same time I can't believe it's only been 10 years. I feel like I've always known him. He's one of the lights of my life, and I'm so incredibly lucky and grateful that I get to be his mommy.

ABB 5k Race Racep

My blogging is getting spottier and spottier---not because I don't have things to write about (I DO!) but because it's getting hard for me to carve out time to simply sit and write.  Between being a full-time mom, half-Ironman training, being a Girl Scout leader, being active in the school's Foundation, and the odds-and-ends that come up everyday, it's difficult to just sit and type.

But I do love to recap my races, mainly for my own nostalgic purposes, and I did one a few weeks ago that was truly memorable. I ran the ABB 5k in Houston, which was part of the Houston Marathon weekend.  I was out there with my family to visit my mother, who has ovarian cancer.  My kids had not seen her in almost a year (usually my mom comes out to visit 3-4 times a year) and it was important to us all that we go.  I saw that that weekend was the Houston Marathon and Half Marathon (a race I want to run one day) and that the weekend featured a 5k the day before.  I normally wouldn't care about it, but my 8 year old nephew, who lives in Houston, wanted to run a 5k with me. He had never run one before!  So, it ended up that it was a group of us:  me, and my 9 year old son, D; my sister and her two kids (who had all run the Oceanside Turkey Trot 5k with me in November); and my other sister and her son.

My brother-in-law picked up our packets for us the day before, so I have nothing to report on the expo.  As the race started at 8, we left the house by 6:15. I didn't know where we were going, and wanted to make sure we weren't stressed about the time.  We easily found parking in a nearby parking garage, and headed over to the starting area.  There were some fun booths set up for the kids, which some of our kids did while the rest of us waited in a LOOOOOONG port-a-potty line.

When the race began, we all started together, but soon I ran head with my son and niece.  My sisters and nephews ran/walked behind us.  The course was an out-and-back, and as it was in the streets of Houston, there was not much to look at.  No offense, Houston, but you're not the prettiest city.  Aside from one man set up with speakers blaring music, and a few random spectators, there was not much crowd support.  But what the course lacked in support and beauty was made up for by the people.  Everyone seemed to be in a good mood.  The weather was gorgeous, and while a lot of people were running this as a stand-alone race, others were also running either the half or the full the next day, and were using this as a warm-up.

Texas LOVES their state flag

As for us, we did ok. My niece started getting a few stomach cramps, so we took a few more walk breaks than we did when we ran together in November.  But we still finished in a great time, and the kids were so happy to get another medal.  We were handed the medals by service men and women, which made it extra special.

I would love to come back one day and run this again with my niece and nephews---and then run the half marathon the next day. Goals!