Like Mother, Like Daughter

Last night I started my daughter, A, back in dance class. She had been going for about a year or so, then stopped at the beginning of last summer because the dance studio didn't do summer classes, only camp sessions. I meant to wait until she got acclimated in her new school in the fall and then sign her up again, but time just got away from me and I never did. Last week I checked back in with the same studio and found that there was a class that not only seemed appropriate, but fit perfectly in our hectic schedule We audited it last night, and I ended up signing her up.

As I was watching her in the class, I had mixed emotions. She had a hard time with many of the moves, partly because they were new to her but mostly because of her balance disorder. Even though she's 5 1/2, she still can't jump, let alone hop on one foot, skip, or do any of the moves that require her to be in the air. But she tries so darned hard, and adapts the moves to what she CAN do. I've never seen a little girl try harder, nor have so much fun. That made me so proud. I get filled with so much PRIDE when I see her try so hard and do so well!

While I have pride, however, I also get a little sad. It's still hard for me sometimes to see her around other kids her age who are typically developing and see how far behind she is. She has come so amazingly far, yet she still has a long way to go, especially with her gross motor skills. So when I see girls her age pirouetting gracefully around the room, I am proud and happy that she is walking and indeed TWIRLING, albeit a bit clumsily and off-balance...and I get a bit sad and wistful for what we'll never have.

While watching her dance, it occurred to me that A and I are similar in some ways. While she has a hard time keeping up with others in dance class, I have a hard time in yoga. I recently started taking yoga, and am still so tight and inflexible that I need to adapt some of my poses. In my class Monday night, for example, we were doing a leg stretch where we were asked to place our hands as far down our leg as we could (while we were lying on our backs with our legs in the air). I could only place my hand as far down as my knee, but others in the class were grabbing their calfs, their ankles, even their toes.

I'm not in a competition with the other class members, and in fact the teacher always reminds us to listen to our bodies and do what we can do and adapt the rest. I do what I can, and know that with practice I will improve. The same goes for A. She can only do what she can do, and it doesn't matter what the other little girls can do. She is doing her best too. We can only work with what we have---I have tight muscles, she has no semi-circular canals, the part of the inner ear that control balance--but we both have drive, spunk, a sense of fun, and a desire to improve.

My Tap-Dancing Gymnast/Ballerina!

This week my daughter became a gymnast and a tap dancer! For most 4 year old little girls, this would be no big deal; don't most little girls dance and do gymnastics? However, loyal readers of my blog know that my daughter is not "most little girls". After all, she just started walking almost exactly a year ago, at the age of 3 1/2.

I had always dreamed of A dancing, but frankly wasn't sure she ever would. When I was pregnant with A, and found out she was a girl, I imagined us doing Mommy-and-Me ballet like my other friends with daughters did. I fantasized about signing her up for gymanstics....of buying her a little tutu....of going to dance recitals. Of course, when she was hospitalized in the NICU for 12 weeks after she was born, I had a feeling that none of those dreams would become reality. And as she grew older, and her gross motor skills became more and more delayed (she didn't hold her head up until almost 6 months old, she sat up unassisted at 15 months; she finally crawled at about 18 months) it was more and more obvious to me that she may never do the things I so desperately yearned for.

Back in June, I found a dance studio that had a class that seems right for my new walker. I signed A up for a Creative Movement class, which she adored. In July, I put her in the Intro to Ballet class. This was not the Mommy-and-Me class I had wanted, but in a lot of ways it was better: an independent class for 3-4 year olds. I got to go to Capezio and buy her ballet slippers, and outfit her in a leotard and tights. Since July she has gone weekly to ballet (the Creative Movement class ended when school started in September) and has improved so much. She still can't do a lot of what the other kids do, as her balance is impaired and she still lacks the coordination to jump and skip. But she tries her hardest, and loves it. I don't even care what she can and can't do; the fact that she's in the class at all is enough for me.

Flash forward to this month. I had been looking, to no avail, for a gymnastics class for A. It's been hard, much harder than I thought. Every place I called seemed inappropriate. The classes for her age group were developmentally way too advanced, and the classes that were developmentally appropriate were for little kids. However, I hit the jackpot and found a local place that is perfect for her. The instructors actually have experience with kids with needs and varying abilities. I talked to them at length about A, felt comfortable, and signed her up.

This past Tuesday was her first day. She was placed in a class with 5 other kids, all about the same age. They rotated around different parts of the gym: balance beams, a trampoline, slides, rings, etc. The instructor, who had actually read the form I filled out about A and knew her medical issues, stayed with her for all the things she needed extra assistance on (like the balance beams). I was thoroughly impressed with their level of attentiveness. A had a great time and had a smile on her face throughout. And I am satisfied that this will make a great replacement for her medically-based physical therapy, which ended last month after 4 1/2 years. I just know she will benefit from all the activities she will do in gymnastics.

In addition to trying gymnastics for the first time, this week she also got to try out tap dancing! The dance studio started offering it for her age group this week, directly after ballet on Thursday. Most of the little girls in ballet, including A, stayed after the ballet class to test out the new tap class. Again, I think this class will be very good for her. Much of tap dancing involves balancing on one foot, lifting the other, and coordinating when to strike the heel or the toe. Things that are hard for any 4 year old and that are doubly hard for my daughter. But she tried her best, and actually did a heel-toe walk, with the teacher's assistance, across the dance floor!

Today I went back to Capezio buy her a pair of black patent-leather tap shoes. They are now nestled in her ballet bag, next to her pink ballet slippers. Her sweatpants for gymnastics hang in her closet. She has all the gear. My daughter is now a ballerina, tap dancer, and gymnast....just as I dreamed she'd be at age 4 1/2. In my eyes, she's the most graceful one out there.

How Much Does It Cost to Fulfill A Dream?

A few weeks ago I wrote about my dreams coming true with A taking her first dance class. She has gone twice now to this fabulous Creative Movement class, and she loved it each time. The Mommy-and-Me ballet class I had wanted (wanted, dreamed about, and yearned for) since A was born won't be happening until the fall, so on the heels of her success in the Creative Movement class, yesterday I took her to the studio's Intro To Ballet, for ages 3-4. I just wanted to check it out to see how she did before I paid to sign her up.

This class is much different than the Creative Movement class. In that class, the kids can wear whatever they want, and go in either socks or barefoot. In the ballet class, the girls have to wear pink leotards, pink tights, and pink ballet shoes. Of course, I wasn't going to spend money on all that gear until I knew the class was right for A, so she wore a darling pink leotard/tutu combo that my mother-in-law had sent her, and was barefoot.

As always, A blew me away. She loved the class, which I expected, but more than that, she tried so hard and was able to do so much! Of course, some things she can't do at all---skip, jump, jump in the air with her legs scissored--but she tried. When the teacher had the girls stand on one leg, A tried to raise one leg--even succeeding for a few seconds at a time. She had no concept of the traditional ballet positions (first position, etc) but first of all, she had never seen them before, and second of all, some of those poses will be hard for my new walker. The best part was seeing some of these other girls, all her age (A just turned 4 this week)....some of the girls were able to do everything, but many others couldn't skip or jump either. That made me feel much better. I'm always assuming that other kids her age can do EVERYTHING, which obviously is not the case.

Today I had had to got to fulfill a dream of mine--to go to Capezio and outfit my daughter for ballet! We didn't have to buy a leotard, thanks to the outfit that my mother-in-law had sent, but I had to buy shoes, tights, etc.

So, how much does it cost for dreams to come true?

Ballet Slippers............$20
Tights..........................$15
Ballet Bag...................$14 (not necessary, but since it's my dream, I couldn't resist!)

With tax, $53.29 for a field trip to Capezio, a daughter in ballet class, and the knowledge that she is well on her way to being the typical kid I want her to be. As my father would say, that's a bargain at double the price!

Dreams Coming True: Dance Class!

When I found out that I was pregnant with a girl, I immediately thought of the girly things we could do together. One thing I desperately wanted to do was take a Mommy-and-Me ballet class. Many of my friends with daughters had taken such a class, and it looked like fun. I had a son, D, and although we did lots of wonderful Mommy-and-Me activities together (like music, soccer and gymnastics) ballet was not one of them. Don't get me wrong; I am not a ballerina, and in fact, don't even LIKE ballet that much. It's just that the idea of taking such a class with my daughter seemed like fun.

After A was born, it was obvious that such a class wouldn't be happening for a long time, if ever. She had so many health issues, not the least of which was that she was born without semicircular canals, which are the parts of the inner ear that control balance. She didn't really start walking independently until this past January, at the ripe old age of 3 1/2! Since then, she has really taken off, even doing her first race. It was time to start looking into a class to fulfill my dream. I also decided to look into a gymnastics class, since she wouldn't be getting her school-based physical therapy and adapted p.e. over the summer. This girl has really proven to me that she is ready for some physically active challenges!

Finding an appropriate class has been difficult, however, Her gross motor skills are still delayed. I mean, she just started walking about 5 months ago! I would estimate her gross motor level at about 18 months or so. Plus she has some receptive and expressive language delays that put her behind about a year or so (again, my own estimation). However, cognitively she is right where she is supposed to be. Classes geared for younger kids would be good for her physically, but might bore her; classes geared for her age group might be right for her cognitively, but she'd be way behind physically. Ah, the dilemma!

I was lucky to find a dance school nearby that offers some classes that seem appropriate. One is that elusive Mommy-and-Me ballet; however, they are waiting for more registrants in order to start the class. The other is a Creative Movement class for kids ages 2-4. They started today, and A started with it! It's not the ballet class, with leotard and ballet slippers, that I had envisioned, but a dance class is a dance class!

It was so fun to watch her. I wasn't allowed to be in the class with her, so I watched through the one-way mirror outside. There were four other girls in with her, ranging in age from 2 1/2 to 4. A fit right in with the other girls. There were things that A couldn't do (skip and hop, for example) but some of the other girls couldn't do those things either. She followed directions, sat when she was supposed to sit, move when she was supposed to move. I couldn't have been more proud. Most importantly, she had fun, and was really moving and grooving to the music and having fun with the provided props.

I hope to also take that Mommy-and-Me ballet class, if they get more girls to register. But even if that class never happens, now I know that soon A could take an Intro-to-Ballet class all on her own. She is a miracle rock star ballerina!