Grateful Mama Deconstructed

I've been blogging since January, and I just realized today that I should explain the title of my blog!

First of all, and those of you who know me in real life already know this, but I used to be a huge Grateful Dead fan. I'm not quite the Deadhead anymore, but I still enjoy their music. And that period of my life (no, I never followed them on tour or anything, but I did see them) was really fun. In fact, my pseudonym, Sugar Magnolia, is the title of one of my favorite Dead songs. I wish I could be like many bloggers I have found and post my real name, my kids' real names, and photos, but I am not comfortable doing so. Hence, the pseudonym.

But beyond that...I truly am grateful. I know people may look at my life and wonder why. My husband has Young Onset Parkinsons Disease. My daughter has myriad physical issues, including a trachostomy, hearing loss, a soon-to-be-removed feeding tube, and just started to walk independently at the age of 3 1/2. My son is "typically" developing, but while he is amazing, typical also comes with the usual problems kindergarten-aged boys have. I never seem to have enough money, time, energy, or patience.

And yet.

And yet I am grateful. I am grateful for a husband that loves me more than anything. I am grateful for his job, which provides for us to live a comfortable lifestyle. I am grateful for the opportunity to raise such a smart, kind, empathic son. I am grateful for the gift I was given in the form of my daughter, who has introduced me to new worlds and made me realize the true meaning of gratitude. I am grateful for a nice house to live in, food to cook, laundry to do, a minivan to drive. I am grateful for my parents, my sisters, my brothers-in-law, and the rest of the family who love MY family and support us every step of the way. I am grateful for my friends...some close friends without whom I'd never be able to do this journey, and many, many other friends who have supported me, rooted me on, and been there for me.

Without my particular family situations, I would never be grateful for food stains on clothing (that means my child is eating!), for toys strewn around the house (that means my children are engaging in appropriate play!), for phone calls and emails to return (that means I am loved!). I would never be grateful to fight insurance issues (thank goodness we HAVE good insurance!), to chauffeur my children all around town (I have dependable wheels and places to go!), to welcome my husband home each night with a freshly cooked meal (which means not only do I have food on the table, but a husband who comes HOME and is a great father to our kids).

Yes, I am grateful, in every sense of the word. Don't get me wrong...sometimes I allow myself to throw a pity party, but they don't last long. I have true gratitude for my life and those in it, and I hope that my blog reflects that.

And the Grateful Dead WERE a great band!