April 12, 2010

Slipping Through My Fingers

Today, my oldest child, D, turned 6.

I cannot believe he is 6 already. Last year at this time, I was sobbing because he was 5...and the year before that I was crying because he was 4....etc....etc.

I distinctly remember being in the hospital after giving birth to him. I was there for several days, since I had had a c-section. When he was 2 days old, I cried to my husband that it was going so fast already. "He's 2 days old! Time is just slipping by!" I realized, even then when he was just days old, that his childhood would slip by before I knew it. And here it is, 6 years later, and it seems that hardly a day has gone by since I gave birth to him.

Sometimes I wish I could stop time and freeze my kids where they are now. They are so adorable....but every age has been adorable for me. Yes, each stage has it's ups and downs, but I think, at least I HOPE, that I have truly enjoyed my kids at each stage.

I try my best to capture the moment. I take pictures (most yet to be put in a scrapbook, but still...) and take videos when I can. Both my husband and I each write a letter to each child on their birthdays, chronicling their previous year, and this helps me remember what they liked to eat, watch on tv, play with, etc. But most of all I try to stay in the present moment and BE with my kids.

The last part of that paragraph is where I often find myself failing. I am not the best play-on-the-floor type of mom. Don't get me wrong; I have spent countless hours playing board games, dollhouse, babies, and blocks. But I can't do that stuff endlessly; it's mind numbing to me and although I love playing with them it has to be in short bursts. Plus, I have laundry to do, a house to de-clutter, appointments to make, dinner to cook; in short, other things that also need to be done. I try to include the kids when I can (A especially loves to help fold laundry and cook) but they can't, or don't want to, do it all.

I don't want to be an old lady and look back on my kids' childhoods and wonder where it went. And that's how I already feel, even with my oldest child only 6! I feel like it's all slipping through my fingers....I'm trying to hold a gallon of water in the palm of my hand, yet watching it quickly slip away. I am painfully aware of how quick it all goes, and want to savor it all.


  1. It's bittersweet. We miss their baby days but wouldn't trade the big kids they are becoming. I think we just have to remember to stay present in each moment as it comes and take today as the gift that it is. There's so much more to learn from each other on this journey. I hear you though, I can't believe our kids are getting so big.

  2. Very nicely written, and you sum up my feelings perfectly. I try to capture all of the moments on the camers, but sometimes I think I don't stop and just soak up the moment. It is hard to do when they keep us so busy every minute!

    Happy Birthday to your sweet boy!!


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