On Empowering Young Girls

Last month I played race director for the first time.  My kids' school held their first annual fun run to raise money to buy new technology.  I stepped up to co-chair the event. I was nervous---not only was it my first time being in charge of such a large event pretty much by myself, but as a runner, I know how these events should go.  As a fun run, it wasn't a timed race, but I still wanted it to be as professional as possible. I mapped out a 3.1 mile course and a 1 mile course (we gave both options in  order to maximize the number of participants), got sponsors, ordered medals and t-shirts, had food at the end, etc.  In the end, we netted over $3500 in profit, which made me happy, especially for our first time.  I heard nothing but positive feedback the day of the event and after; it was fabulous and I'm really proud of myself.

But that is not what this post is about.

You see, one of the runners doing the 5k was a 4th grade girl.  To keep her anonymous, I'll call her Susie.  Susie is the daughter of a friend of mine. I am friends with the mom, but not close friends, and therefore I don't know Susie very well.  But when I saw that the mom and Susie were registered for the 5k, I was very happy and excited for them.  I found out that this was to be Susie's very first 5k.

When they crossed the finish line, I was there.  I had my phone in my pocket, and wanted to take a picture of the two of them, to commemorate this achievement.  However, Susie was very upset.  She was crying.  The run had been really hard for her. She had never done 3.1 miles before.  It wasn't a particularly HILLY course, but there were definitely some small rollers that did not make it flat.  And it was a warm day.  All things conspired to make it a hard run for her.

She refused to let me take their picture.

All she kept talking about was how hard it was.  I tried to tell her what an amazing feat she just conquered---doing her first 5k---but all she was focused on was how difficult it was for her.  She simply could not bask in the glow of her accomplishment. It took her quite a while to calm down, and only later, before they left the school, did she let me take a picture with her mother.

While I myself was basking in the glow of MY accomplishment all day, being pleased with myself for pulling off a fun and successful first-time fundraiser, I couldn't stop thinking about Susie. It bothered me that she wasn't able to celebrate her triumph.  I didn't want her to focus on how hard it was. I wanted her to know that BECAUSE it was hard, and BECAUSE she got through it, that made crossing the finish line that much sweeter. I knew that she was at a delicate age---9---and that many girls decide not to try new things, or hard things, because of the difficulty involved.  I didn't want Susie not to run again. Or shy away from something else based on difficulty---real or perceived.

I could not get Susie out of my head.


I know that sometimes hearing from another adult, instead of your parent, who is supposed to encourage you no matter what, can make a more powerful impact.  So I wrote her a letter, and put it in the mail that Monday.  And I wanted to share it with you.  I did hear from both my friend and Susie that they really appreciated it. I hope it helped, and I hope that Susie toes the line of the school 5k next year.

Dear Susie,

I was so inspired by you today after you crossed the finish line of your first 5k. I wanted to take a few minutes to tell you just how awesome you are that you took on that course.  3.1 miles is a long way, and you did it! I know you said it was really hard, and that's true!  That makes you finishing it even more amazing!

I do a lot of races, and often find myself struggling to finish them.  I wanted to share something with you that happened to me last September. I was doing a swimming race, called the Tiki Swim. This was a 2.4 mile swim in the ocean.  Yes, 2.4 mile SWIM---almost as long as your running race today! I had trained really hard for the swim, and felt prepared.  But that day, in the water, I was having a really hard time.  Because it was in the ocean, there were waves to get through, and that day there were REALLY big waves, almost 6 feet tall. I almost couldn't get through them, and I started crying, filling my goggles up with tears.  I almost called a lifeguard over to get me, because I wanted to quit.

Then I made up a mantra.  Do you know what a mantra is? A mantra is something you can say over and over again, to help you concentrate.  And I thought of something right there in the Pacific Ocean that really helped me.  Here's what I made up:

"I'm smart...I'm brave....I'm strong....and I can do hard things."

I kept repeating that to myself, with every stroke that I swam. "I'm smart, I'm brave, I'm strong, and I can do hard things".

And you know what? I finished that swim!  And when I got out of the water I was so proud of myself. I did the same race last year, but this year I was more proud of myself because the waves made it harder this year than last year.  The harder something is to do, the more rewarding it is when you finish.  Whether it's a 5k that is hard, or reading a book with a lot of hard words, or ANYTHING that seems too hard---when you finish, it's something to be REALLY proud of.

Also---next time you face something that seems really hard, think back to your first 5k.  Remember that you CAN do hard things.  Because you've already done something hard.  Because you're smart, and you're brave, and you're strong---and Susie, YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!

Thanks for reading...and I hope you keep running!

Warmly,


Sugar

While I'm glad I wrote the letter for Susie, I'm keeping it for my own future use.  It's so easy to lose sight of the sweet reward at the end when I'm putting so much hard work in now. It's true---the harder we work to overcome, the more rewarding it is.

California 10/20 10 Mile Race Recap

Despite good intentions to blog more, here it is a month since my last post.  However, I do have a race to recap----the California 10/20 10 Miler--which I did a few days ago. It was my first 10 mile race, so a new distance to me---and an automatic PR.

I was very excited about this race. It's billed as a 10 mile coastal run, with 20 bands playing.  I actually registered last year but couldn't do it.  I had accidentally registered myself for two races on the same day (this one and the Coronado Valentine's Day 10K). My husband, who was training for the LA Marathon at that point, decided to take my bib for the 10/20 race (he was scheduled for 18 miles that day, and would do another 8 miles on his own after the race) and I would do the 10K with my best friend.  As it turned out, J had a heart attack a few weeks before the races and wasn't able to participate, so the bib went unused. Needless to say, I was determined to do it this year--and I'm glad I did, because while this is only the second year of the race, it's also the last, due to lack of sponsorship or something like that.

The Friday before the race I went to packet pickup at Road Runner Sports.  The best part about this was after runners receive their bibs and shirts, they are forced to exit through the store, which is usual for a packet pickup. Normally I get handed a coupon for 10% off anything in the store---but that day the coupon said $10 off anything, same day only.  What?  I'd actually only been in the store a few days before to buy new shoes, but hey, I could always use new gear. I settled on a new pair of socks, my favorite Balegas. Member price as $10.78, so with the coupon I only paid 78 cents plus tax.  A win any way you look at it! Score!  The goodie bag was actually filled good coupons and some bar samples, not the usual unusable stuff most goodie bags have.

Fast forward to race day.  The race started at 7:30 at the Del Mar Fairgrounds.  I didn't know how bad traffic was going to get on the freeway getting into the fairgrounds, so I wanted to arrive early.  I ended up getting up at 5, leaving the house by 5:35, and was in my parking space by 5:55.  Oops...too early....but hey, I would always rather be early than stressing out in traffic on the freeway! I  sat in my car until 7, reading a book and munching on a Luna Bar.  At 7, I got out and found some women from the local Moms Run This Town club. I'm a member on Facebook, but have only met a handful of the moms on there, so it was nice to meet some more women and put some faces to the names!

I need to mention my headband here---a few months ago, I was the winner in a contest the race had on Facebook, and my prize was a 10/20 Bic headband.  I was glad I remembered to wear it on race day---if not then, where?

pre-race with my race-specific headband

At 7: 15 I headed to my corral. I was in Corral 8, and was pleased to see the corrals were very roomy. Mine only had about 50 people or so.  My friend Barb had an aunt and cousin running in the race in Corral 9, right behind me, and it only took me a minute of looking before I spotted them (Barb had given me their bib numbers). I hopped over the rope and introduced myself.  I love making connections!  Not too long after was the singing of the National Anthem, and the race started!  They didn't really stagger the corrals, and I crossed the start line at 7:33.

start line

I decided right from the start I would stick to my usual 2:00 minute run/30 second walk ratio, which has gotten me through most of my recent runs and races with minimal pain to my sciatic nerve.  We started running around the fairgrounds---I've run here before, at the Electric Run, but that was at night and I couldn't see anything.  Now, in the day, I could see much more.  The neat part was running through a part that looked like the Old West, complete with cowboys on horseback lining the dirt trail we ran on. This must be where they house the horses. Very cool.

On an uncool note, at only 1/3 mile in, I started to develop a hot spot on the bottom of my right foot.  I was wearing new shoes (usually a no-no on race day) but they weren't BRAND new, as I'd already worn them once on an uneventful 4 mile run earlier the week.  They were fine during the previous run, but I was concerned about going another 9.66 miles!  Luckily, a mile or so later the hot spot seemed to disappear.

I spy the ocean ahead!

After a mile or so, we exited the fairgrounds and turned left on Via de la Valle, which we took up the hill until we turned right (north) onto the Coast Highway.  Soon we were treated to the gorgeous Pacific spread out in front of us.  I bike here often, but rarely run here, and it was amazing.  That view never gets old, hence the reason I bike here a lot.  We ran a few miles up the coast, past Del Mar, past Solana Beach, and up to Cardiff/Encinitas.  The turnaround is the Cardiff Kook, a landmark statue with a great history (people dress the statue up all the time in different costumes). I smiled, because I often turn around here on my bike; from my house to the Cardiff Kook is exactly 20 miles, so it makes a great 40 mile route for me.

this view NEVER gets old!

Meanwhile, I was feeling great.  My run/walk ratio was working great for me. I felt strong.  My run pace hovered around 10:45 (tempered by my slower walk breaks, though).  At mile 5 I took a Gu, and at mile 8 I ate a few Gu Chomps.  I had brought Gatorade on my fuel belt, but only went through two of my four bottles. It was warm, but I felt ok in my tank top and tri shorts (I wore tri shorts instead of running shorts because I needed to bike after the run).  There were lots of bands on the course. There were supposed to be 20, and while I didn't count them, I know there were a lot. I listened to music on my iPod, but every time I neared a band I turned my own music off so that I could hear the live music, and clap for the musicians.

By mile 9 I was ready to be done.  This is when I'm typically drained (not just physically, but mentally) in a half marathon, but instead of having 4 more miles to go I only had 1.  Yes!  So at mile 9 I abandoned my run/walk ratio and just decided to go for it. I ran as much as I could, with a little walk break here and there.  I crossed the finish line (with the announcer calling my name) in 1:56. My goal was to break 2:00, which I crushed. My finish photo shows me triumphant, which is rare for me at a finish line.

nice bling

I didn't stay for the beer garden or after-party (even though former Eagle Don Felder was playing) as I still had a long bike ride ahead of me (ah, the joys of half-Ironman training).  But I was happy to get my medal, and they had tons of snacks---I fueled on an orange, banana, pretzels, and a bar before heading off to bike 29 miles. 

I'm really sad this race won't happen again next year. I truly loved it.  It was very well organized, and you can't beat the course---any race that runs along the Pacific is tops in my mind!  I also loved the distance. While my true love is the half marathon, there' something to be said for a 10 mile race.  It's still hard, you still need to train for it, but just at the point that I start to hate running, the race is over. I don't think there is another 10 mile race in San Diego. It's a shame. But I sure am glad I got to experience it!

2014 Racing Recap

I wasn't going to do a 2014 end-of-the-year recap---and let's face it, 2014 is old news as it's already the middle of January 2015--but I wanted to write something good to remember the year by.

Because, quite frankly, 2014 was a sucky year.

It was the year my husband had a heart attack. It was the year he also found out that the deep brain stimulation that he had implanted isn't working, because it's in the wrong spot in his brain. It was a difficult year with my daughter, full of special behavioral and academic  challenges that have had me questioning what the right thing to do is.

It was the year my beloved mother died, leaving me feeling untethered, unanchored, and somewhat lost in the world.

So I'm trying to find what was good about last year. And when I look back on my race schedule, I can find some good.

January I ran the ABB 5k in Houston, with my son, sisters, niece and nephews.

February I ran the Coronado Valentine's Day 10k and biked in  my first metric century, the Senorita

March brought my second half-Ironman, California Oceanside 70.3 triathlon

April had me running the Peace Love Run 5k with my son.

In May I biked my first century (at 106.2 miles, actually a century and a 10k) during the San Diego Century.

In June, I showed my son my alma mater at the UCSD Triton 5k and swam the La Jolla Pier to Cove 1.5 mile swim.


July had me running in the Costume Party Half Marathon.

In August, I had a new distance running the trails during the Balboa Park 8 Miler.

September was my second Tiki Swim, a grueling 2.4 mile open water swim.

October had me running on the beach during the Surfing Madonna 5k.

November had two races---the Awesome 80's 5k with my son, and the Annapolis Running Classic Half Marathon---my first race in Maryland with another state checked off my list!

December was capped off by running the Hot Buttered Run 10k with my son---his first 10k!

I didn't mean to race every month, but just worked out that way (except for December's race, which I signed up for only because I realized I had raced every other month!)

5 5ks....2 10ks....an 8 mile race....2 half marathons....a 1.5 mile open water swim...a 2.4 mile open water swim...a metric century....a full century...and a half-Ironman.

THIS is how I stay sane. When people ask me how I cope with all the crap in my life, all you need to do is look at my training schedule.  Taking my stress out on the water, roads and sidewalks helps me immensely.

496 miles run
1712 miles biked
104 miles swum

Not as much as some...but with the year I had, and the injuries I sustained, I'm satisfied.

Come on, 2015.  I'm ready for you.  Bring it.