October 28, 2010

The Brother and Sister Relationship

Conversation last week at dinner:

D: "Remember when you told me that I was going to have a baby sister?"

me: "um....yeah..." (in reality I have no recollection). "what did you think when I told you?"

D: "I was really happy, because I would have a playmate."

me: "and is A a good playmate to you?"

D: "Yes! She's the best!"

Now, I don't think this ever really happened. I got pregnant with A when D was 18 months old, and he had just turned 2 when she was born. I don't ever recall him saying that he was excited to have a baby sister, nor was he excited for a playmate. He did love me being pregnant, and would take his Fisher-Price doctor's kit and put the fake stethoscope on my tummy to "listen" (as he saw the ob/gyn do in all my visits) but I don't think he ever really connected that there would be an actual baby. And, of course, when A was born she didn't come home for 12 weeks, so her birth was a non-event for him.

But I love how he rewrote history.

I've written before about their relationship, about how much they love each other. I don't think he really understands all of her medical issues (I mean, he's only 6) but he gets that she has some "differences". He will sometimes ask questions about her hearing aids; he used to explain to his friends that her trach helped her breathe. I don't think he understands that she has delays; to him, she is simply his sister.

They often play beautifully together, but sometimes he is too rough and it's not good. Today was a perfect example: after school, he took out A's teaset and played tea party with her. He actually put water in the teapot, and bread on the plates, and sat on the floor with her for quite a while doing this. They were both having a blast. However, not even an hour later he was pushing her around and she fell to the floor, smacked her forehead on the tile, and immediately got an angry-looking purple knot in the middle of her forehead.

I hope that their special relationship continues. He makes her tougher; she makes him more empathic. A win-win relationship.


  1. Definitely a wonderful thing to see how that relationship grows as they do...and what you find yourself doing to ultimately help strengthen both of them. :)

  2. Love seeing how my girls connect as well.
    What a funny story about him "remembering" A being born. Too cute. What a good big brother he is.


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