An Encounter from Down Under

My kids have been out of school all week (our school district always takes off the week of President's Day) and I've been busy trying to keep a balance between entertaining them and also having some relaxing downtime. It's been a nice break overall, although I have to admit I'm ready for school to start again on Monday.

Yesterday I took the kids to Legoland. We go often, as we have season passes and it's not too far away. We've hit a sweet spot in the kids' development where A is finally tall enough to go on most of the rides, including the roller coasters, and D is finally tall enough to be able to sit by himself without an adult next to him. Before, we'd have to go as a family, but since A can go on the rides with D, and D can sit by himself, I'm now able to take them by myself.

I decided to go on a ride that we've never been on before, which was some sort of logjammer ride (where you sit in a log-shaped boat and go up a hill..and then down into some water, getting splashed along the way). When A had her tracheostomy, I would have never even considered such a ride, as I wouldn't want water to get in her breathing tube, but now that the tube is out and the hole is closed water rides are fair game. Amazingly, D had never been on the ride either, so we were all looking forward to it.

As we walked over to get in line, A told me, "I need to take out my hearing aids". I couldn't believe it! Of course, I would have taken them off---at around $3000 each, you'd better believe I'm taking them off whenever there is a possibility of her getting wet--but SHE mentioned it to me FIRST! I had no idea that she had such self-awareness about the hearing aids, that she now knows that they must be kept dry. My little girl is growing up! As we walked over, I took off the aids and put them safely in my tote bag.

We got in line.

Another family got in line right behind us, a family consisting of a mom, a dad, and two adorable little boys. Both boys were were wearing hearing aids! I couldn't believe it. We rarely see kids with hearing aids. Glasses, yes---but hearing aids are much rarer. And here were TWO kids wearing them! I had to say something, so I told the mom that my daughter also wears aids.

That got us into a conversation that lasted the whole 30 minutes or so that we were waiting in line. It turned out that this family was visiting from Australia. Both of her boys (who were roughly my kids' ages) have hearing loss due to a rare metabolic disorder. They were so nice and it was great to hear about how things are done Down Under. I learned that:

• In Australia hearing aids are covered by the government 100%. (Here in the United States they aren't covered by most insurances. At all.)
• Not only are hearing aids 100% covered, but they are replaced with NEW hearing aids every 3 years.
• The Australian sign language, (called Auslan) is very, very different than American Sign Language (ASL). Out of 26 letters, only 1 letter (C) is finger spelled the same.

D hit it off with their older son, and they ended up sharing the log together during the ride. I got their email address, and hope to keep in touch. It just goes to show that you never know who you might meet. We've been to Legoland a gazillion times and have never even thought about going on that ride until yesterday. What were the chances that the one time we do, a family with two kids with hearing loss would be right behind us?

Getting Ready for the Oly

It just hit me this week that I have my second Olympic-distance triathlon (Oly) on March 18. That's just four weeks away. I'm doing the SuperSeal. Last year I did this race, but the sprint distance; this year I've upgraded to the Oly. It will be only my second Oly to date....yet for some reason I haven't been as nervous as I was about my first one. That is...until now.

I don't know why I haven't been nervous. Before my last one, I was freaking out, mainly because the bike portion was on some wicked hills. The triathlon was in September and I spent much of the summer doing hill training. I finished the triathlon just shy of 4 hours---slow, but completed. The Oly I have coming up has always seemed so far off in the distance. I registered for it last fall, so March just seemed so far away.

My training has been decent, but it could definitely be better.

• I haven't been swimming as often as I should be. I'm in the pool at least once a week, and last week even logged a 2500 yard (50 lap) swim, but before my last Oly I was in the pool twice a week. However, I think I'll be okay for the 1500 meter swim this triathlon will consist of. I AM a bit nervous about the water; when I did this race last March the water was so cold, even in my wetsuit, that I had a panic attack and forgot how to swim for a bit. This time I will be prepared for that. I also fondly remember how much I enjoyed the last 2/3 of my Oly in September. In the pool it usually takes me a good 500 yards to warm up, so when I do sprint tris and the swim is only 500 meters, I don't have time to find my groove. When I did the Oly in September, I struggled for the first 500 meters but really enjoyed swimming the last 1000. I hope this is true in March as well.
• I have recently upgraded to clipless pedals, and have been trying to get used to them. Today I had my second fall, which is expected for a beginner. I have been biking, some longer distances and some shorter, but definitely not what I was biking in preparation for my last Oly. I think I have been lulled into a sort of complacency, as last time was SO hilly and this time the bike course will be flat for all 40k (25 miles). In fact, I DID the bike course, last year; this time it will be a double loop of the course instead of a single loop. It is a beautiful course, and it was on the bike portion of the race last year that I fell in love with biking. But although the course will be flat, it won't be easy; the winds will be in my face for half of it.
• My running, as always, has been solid. I just did a half marathon two weeks ago, and continue to run in the week. My last few long runs post-half marathon have been 6 miles each, and I will continue to up that mileage before the Oly. I am not afraid of running the 10k (6.2 miles) on the race.
• I have done a few bricks recently, even if it was just running a mile after biking. This week I even did a 10 mile spin at the gym on the spinning bike, and ran a mile on the treadmill after. Today I did a "mega-brick": a 25+ mile bike ride immediately followed by a 6.2 mile run, the exact distances of the Oly. It was hard, but I did great! I finished in 3:08, including the transition, which leads me to think I'll have another 4 hour Oly once I factor in the swim and one more transition (swim to bike).

I am happy I did that huge brick today; I only have 3 weekends left before the race! The weekend before the race I will be busy with a family event and unable to train (perfect for tapering anyway) so as of now I only have two training weekends left. This big brick today gave me the confidence I needed that I CAN do this. Slow or not, I will be able to finish, and finish strong (I was pain-free and energetic the rest of today!) I plan on two more long bike rides and runs over the next two weekends, and maybe a small brick or two mid-week. I will continue my swimming, and hope to swim at least once a week before the race, if not twice a week.

Race day is coming....and I'll be ready.

When My Heart Grew

I love to watch my kids interact together. A is now 5 1/2, and D is almost 8, so they are able to play together a lot more than they used to. A is still not as developmentally advanced, in terms of language, as other kids her age, but D is amazing with her. It's especially fun for me to watch them in the tub together, playing with the bathtoys and splashing around.

Back when I was pregnant with A, I was so scared of how having a second child would affect D. In fact, I was so focused on D that I wasn't even excited about my pregnancy. Even though A was a planned pregnancy, and I was happy about it, during the entire 9 months I was worried about how D would react to having a baby sister. I was also sad at losing my "alone" time with him. For 26 months, D and I were inseparable. I was with him all the time, rarely leaving him. He was my light, my joy, my sunshine. You know that "honeymoon" stage you get when you're in a new relationship? That was me and D for two years straight.

I was so sad at losing our one-on-one time, and so worried about how D would react, that I felt oddly detached from the pregnancy. Not depressed....but like I said, I wasn't EXCITED about her. I did all the right things----got her room ready, had a baby shower--but my focus was on my son. I was also scared that I wouldn't love her---how could there be room in my heart for another baby? The love I felt for my son was so great, unlike any love I had ever felt. (In fact, later, when she was born with so many birth defects, I thought that God was punishing me for not being excited about her. When I told this to my rabbi, he allayed my fears, telling me that God would never punish me for such thoughts or emotions.)

Before A was born, a friend sent me the following poem, whose author is unknown.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying her—as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you — as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.

I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you—only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you—-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life. --author unknown

This poem came at the right time for me, as I read it right before A was born. And, of course, we know the rest of the story. I fell in love, head-over-heels-madly-in-love--with my daughter within seconds of her being born. D loves his sister, and she idolizes him. He is so protective of her, so proud of her. A few months ago, I was talking to my husband at the dinner table about her upcoming IEP. I was crying, saying that all I want is for her to be a typical child, but no matter how well she does, she'll never be typical (she'll always, always have her hearing and balance impairments, if nothing else). D asked, "what does typical mean?" I responded that when you're typical, you can do things that other kids can do. His response was "what can't A do? She's amazing!"

A IS amazing. And so is D. I'm a lucky, lucky mama that I have the two of them. And they're lucky to have each other.