Detox

Yesterday while flipping stations in my car I came to Oprah Radio on XM and heard a phrase that really struck me. I don't know who said it, or what it was in reference to, but what I heard was something to the effect of "We tend to our homes, our gardens, our children...it's time we tend to ourselves". I'm getting the quote wrong, I know, but that was the gist. That we spend so much time decorating our house, cleaning it, getting the car washed, finding the right shade of lipstick. I myself would never think of missing an appointment at the hair salon to cover my grays. But we don't tend to the most important parts of ourselves: diet, exercise, relaxation, fun, etc.

With that in mind, and also with my post a few days ago about being a caffeine addict, I am committed to reducing my caffeine intake! Yesterday I went to the grocery store and did not pick up my usual two 12-packs of Diet Coke. I will not have it in the house, starting yesterday. If I'm out, at a friend's house or a restaurant, and want it, then of course I will have some. But I will not ingest that stuff in my house. Of course, as I sit here typing I have a freshly brewed cup of coffee sitting next to me, but one step at a time.

I think overall I have a healthy lifestyle--been vegetarian for 8 years, am exercising more and more and in fact am training for another half-marathon---but I can certainly reduce the soda. Next will be to cut back the coffee...and the third (and final) step in my diet renovation will be to reduce the amount of junk food I eat (way too many cookies).

Thanks for all your support! I need to treat my inside (bones and heart especially) as well as I treat my outside.

Smiling in Synagogue

Tonight we went to our synagogue for Friday night services. It is Shabbat (Sabbath). We rarely go to temple.....Saturday mornings are always full from horseback therapy for A and sports for D, and Friday night services usually start too late. They have a Rockin' Shabbat once a month, which is geared toward kids (a band plays, there is dancing...much more kid-friendly than sitting through a dry, regular service) but it usually starts at 6 or 6:30, and my kids are in bed by 7. So we just don't go. Frankly, the bottom line is that it isn't important to us; if it were, we'd make the time to go, bedtime be damned.

However, these days I've been worried about the lack of Judaism in my kids' lives. Don't get me wrong...we have a very Jewish home, celebrate Shabbat every week (even with homemade challah that I make!) and do all the holidays. So "lack" is probably the wrong word to use. But D used to go to a Jewish preschool, where he got all-Judaism-all-the-time, and now he is in a public kindergarten, and is one of only 2 Jewish kids in his class. He did start Sunday school this year, which is great, and he not only gets to see his friends from preschool there, but he has continued his Jewish learning. But it's not the same as getting it on a daily basis.

However, A isn't even at the Jewish preschool! She is at an amazing preschool, which has a famous inclusion program. It is so much more geared toward her needs than our synagogue preschool ever could be---but it is based at a Presbyterian church. Our rabbis allow me to take A on Friday mornings to the preschool to sit in on the weekly "Shabbat with the Rabbi"....which is something, but not really much compared to all the Jewish learning D got.

Anyhow, our synagogue recently started a monthly service that meets on the fourth Friday of the month...an early service, at 5:45 pm, for only 20 minutes, and it's for preschoolers. I thought it would be great to check it out tonight, for both D and A, both of whom could use more Jewish exposure. It was amazing! A woman played guitar, the rabbi led songs both for Shabbat and the upcoming holiday of Passover, and the kids got to dance up front, on the bima.

The reason I'm relaying this story in my blog is not because it was so great to go to Friday night services after many years of not going, even though it was great to go. I'm telling the story because of my miracle baby, A. She was UP on the bima tonight, "helping" to light the candles, dancing, singing, running after the other children...in short, she was "just one of the kids". A few months ago (don't forget she has only been walking for 2 months, and standing still in one spot for about 1 month) this wouldn't have happened. She'd have crawled up there, and then crawled after the kids. But tonight, she walked, she stood, she dance, she chased. The tears I cried were happy ones.

I look forward to more of these monthly preschool services....it was great for my entire family!

My Sweet Potato Moment

A few years ago, when A was only a few months old, and freshly home from the hospital after getting her tracheostomy, I was invited to someone's house for a sales party. You know, a party for one of those home-based businesses, like Creative Memories or Pampered Chef. The hostess of the party was a co-worker of J's, and I didn't know her very well, but I said yes because frankly I needed to get out of the house after so many stressful months.

At the party, there were several women, most of whom knew each other. I knew no one, except for the hostess, and as I said, I barely knew her. Anyhow, a few of the women were apparently new moms. They were complaining about food stains on their babies' clothing. "Sweet potatoes are the worst!" one mom exclaimed. "The stain just never comes out no matter how you pre-treat or wash it". The other moms agreed, and thus began a long discussion among them of the worst foods to feed your baby, in terms of how bad it would stain their child's onesies.

Of course, they didn't know me, or my situation, but internally I was aghast. "Excuse me, ladies", I wanted to shout, "don't you know how lucky you are that your babies EAT!?!? My baby has a feeding tube, and doesn't eat, or drink at all! I am pumping my breastmilk 5 times a day in order to feed my baby. I would give anything---ANYTHING--for her to be eating like a typical 5 month old should, and would be eternally grateful for sweet potato stains on her onesies because that would mean that she was EATING LIKE SHE SHOULD BE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's just clothes, anyway...wash it, bleach it, or forget about it, because your child will outgrow it soon enough anyway!"

Of course, I didn't say any of this...it wasn't the time or the place. But that moment stuck with me. How many things do we take for granted until it's taken away? Now, at the age of 3 1/2, A is eating and drinking just fine, and in fact will be getting her feeding tube removed this summer. But to this day I relish stains on her clothes....it means she is eating, and eating messily, like the toddler she is and is supposed to be.