I've Become One of "Them"

Many years ago, when D was about 18 months old (I think I was pregnant with A at the time) we went back east to visit my in-laws. My mother-in-law took us to a local park for D to play in, and we had a great time. I remember that across from the playground was soccer field, and there was a game, or perhaps a practice, going on.

What struck me (and it must have really made an impression on me, since I remember it 4-5 years later!) were the mothers at the game. They were all spread out on blankets on the sidelines, chatting with each other. No one even appeared to be watching the game/practice; they were all involved in talking. Soon there was a break in the game, and the kids swarmed the moms. The mothers, in unison, handed their kids water bottles. Seriously, it was like it was choreographed! The kids then went back on the field. The mothers went back to their chatting.

I remember this making such an impression on me because at that time, my whole life, my whole being, revolved around D. I was not just aware of, but PRESENT, for every thing he did. We did tons of mommy-and-me activities together (music, gymnastics, soccer) and he was my world. I never left him with a sitter (save for maybe a few nights a year for a date night with J). In the daytime, we were joined at the hip. I could not have imagined being at a soccer game of his, and not watching his every move. I would want to bear witness to every kick, every block, every goal. How could these moms ignore their children, who were right in front of them?

Well, a few years later, I am just like those moms. I go to his games (these days it's t-ball) and I get involved talking to my friends. It's not like I'm ignoring D...I know where he is, and do watch him. I love to cheer for him when he's up to bat, or attempts to field a ball. But I don't watch him play 100% of the time. I just don't.

Part of me feels guilty. I am just like those moms I saw, and internally criticized, all those years ago. But the other part of me feels justified...I am allowed to talk to the friends I've made (all through being his mom, by the way!), and it's healthy for my life not to revolve solely around his, or A's, life. Yet the guilt somehow always seems to prevail. However, I'm sure that D wouldn't even care....he just wants me to show up. But I want to do more than just show up...I want to be supermom, and often find myself failing miserably. Maybe I should cut myself, and other mothers that I find myself judging, a little slack.

The Magic of Childhood

Yesterday Liam the Leprechaun visited our home.

This was the first time my kids had anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. It's never been a big deal to me (except I do always try to wear green), and since D was always in a Jewish preschool, it was never taught (St. Patrick's Day is definitely NOT a Jewish holiday!) This year, with D in public kindergarten, was the first year he'd even heard of the holiday. His class did a whole unit on it, and talked about Ireland, leprechauns, shamrocks, etc. Very cute.

Yesterday we had his class Green Feast at school (I organized it, being the new co-room-mom). Before the party, and while the kids were at lunch, Liam the Leprechaun, whom they had been learning about, came to the class and paid a visit. There was gold glitter all over the room, the chairs were messed up; all in all it was a mess (leprechauns are known to be mischievous!) The kids totally believed it.

Later in the afternoon, we had a playdate with the kids a few doors down. Apparently, Liam had paid them a visit, too, as their toilet water had turned green! I quickly got on the ball and borrowed the mom's food coloring, ran home, and colored our toilet water green as well. When we got home, D was enthralled, and soooo excited that the leprechaun had come to our home too! Next year I will be more on top of it....I will definitely have more fun things that Liam the Leprechaun will have done to our home.

Since we aren't Christian, and don't do Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, it has been really fun for me to engage in these make-believe things for the kids, such as the Tooth Fairy and now Liam the Leprechaun. Childhood is such a magic time, and I'm thrilled that for one year, at least, my son believes. Hopefully we can get through more time of him believing (although he already questioned if I was the tooth fairy when he lost his second tooth a few weeks ago!) It's so much fun to be a parent, especially for time like this.

Shoe Fetish

I am obsessed with buying my daughter shoes.

Or, more accurately, my daughter is obsessed with shoes and I enjoy fulfilling her desires.

Before A started walking (a mere two months ago) I would wistfully eye the adorable shoes at Stride Rite, Target, and other children's shoe places. I always bought A one pair of shoes at a time---sturdy walking shoes from Stride Rite. The kind that our physical therapist recommended to help give her walking support. While the shoes were cute, I always had my eye on the fancy shoes in the display: the black patent leather Mary Janes, the retro saddle shoes, the sparkly sneakers. I guess I could have bought them for her, but I kind of figured "what's the point"...she was crawling and those shoes were made for walking! I made a deal with myself that as soon as she was walking I would buy her a pair. Or two.

Well, a Pandora's box has been opened, and A now has about 7 or 8 pairs of shoes. All bought in the last two months. Mostly inexpensive shoes I find at Target (a bargain at around $15 a pop!). She has white sparkly shoes, black sparkly shoes, and red sparkly shoes that look exactly like Dorothy's ruby slippers. She has cotton shoes with jewels on them, pink shoes with flowers on them. And of course, black patent leather Mary Janes.

And as much as I love the shoes, A loves them more! Every morning she insists not only on picking out her own shoes, but also her own socks (she loves socks too and has them in many colors). Most mornings she matches, sometimes she doesn't (she LOVES the yellow socks and they just don't go with many outfits!) but I don't care, I let her wear what she wants.

I myself used to have a shoe fetish, back in my 20s, but that has long passed. Oh, I still like shoes, and have many pair, but these days I can be found in one of 5 shoes: in the winter my black Sketchers or Uggs, in the summer one of my many pairs of Birkenstocks or Crocs, and year round my running shoes. Sure, if I go out with J, or with my girlfriends, I might slip on a cute pair of black boots, or sandals, but by and large I live in the shoes I just described. As much as I like shoes, these days I am all about budget and comfort.

But now that A is walking, I can't help but indulge her, and decorate her feet. It took her 3 1/2 years to walk, and those magic feet have to be decked out in style.